


86

by YoonLolina



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Boys Love - Freeform, Jicheol, M/M, Seventeen - Freeform, Soulmateau, and he's lived waaay too much, angst with happy ending, but jihoon remembers, i mentioned some members but they barely appea, its mostly jihoon and how he's suffered, mention of mental disease, oh and jihoon has tattoos, seungcheol has a dog named jolly, slight angst, this is quite pretty, though it might make you cry, where no one knows about soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 09:44:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16595489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YoonLolina/pseuds/YoonLolina
Summary: «And Jihoon would take whatever the universe gave him of Seungcheol.He always did.»





	86

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [86](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/432059) by YoonLolina. 



> Unbeta'd.

Soulmates are real.

Is not something of popular knowledge and, after dying one too many times for saying that truth, Jihoon has decided that it is enough. Soulmates are real and he has lived countless lives hoping to meet his.

So it has been two centuries since he learned to close his mouth, to live faking ignorance and just look closely, searching for the one his own soul yearns. And, while he knows that secret, the rest of the world lives happily blind –that they could bump into each other’s soulmates, that they could be living one of those lives where they don’t cross paths and won’t suffer for it, the pain of something they don’t even know about.

But something went wrong with Jihoon. In his first life –or the first he’s able to remember –he was cursed by the partner of his soulmate and… And now he’s here, more than two thousand years later, praying to this life that he can meet them this time. Then he’ll die and reborn, oblivious for a few years due to his young age. But, after turning ten years old, the memories will come back as dreams and soon the weight of the world will fall on his shoulders again.

They’ve found each other on many occasions: wearing different bodies, different names, in completely different lives. He’s died for his soulmate, condemned to death for loving them, burned in bonfires because their transcendental love has been seen as witchcraft; he has found them too late –when one of both is at the edge of death, when the age gap makes it impossible for them to reunite, when his soulmate is in love of someone else. And, despite how hard it has turn out to love them, the lives where they don’t find each other are the worst.

And the irony is that, in a world where he’s been abhorred for talking about soulmates, there are too many theories of them. Jihoon has his favorites, because he’s lived too many years reading about them and trying to understand what is going on with himself. For the acient Greeks, there was the myth of the once perfect human, who possessed four arms, four legs and two heads. The gods, jealous and feeling threatened by these almost celestial beings, decided to cut them in half. Like this, people would always wander on earth, feeling somewhat empty, trying to find the other half of who they once were –yearning and crying to be complete again.

In Japan, there’s the myth of the red thread of destiny; consisting in the idea that the people meant to be together are connected by a red thread tied in their little finger. And, thanks to this particular story, Jihoon decided to get a tattoo of a small red and horizontal line in his left little finger. It was by impulse, on his first year of college, but that small tattoo ended up being a comforting reminder; because Jihoon missed his soulmate and liked to think that maybe that way he’d find them faster –if only he follows the red thread.

And it probably worked. Jihoon is not so sure to call it a victory.

His favorite hobby is to play music in the streets of Seoul. With his guitar, a small stool and his own voice he could be happy for hours, interpreting songs of famous artists with a little of his own touch. Some people used to stop, lost in his music, and even gave him money –although Jihoon didn’t needed it. Even Wonwoo, his closest friend, ex roommate from college and work colleague, joined him sometimes to make him company. And, if the older was on a good mood and the sun wasn’t too strong on the sky, Jihoon could try to convince him to bring some food.

He didn’t always had the time to spend with his guitar in some park of the city. First it was because of college, and after graduating and getting a job in the National Museum of History –a job he loved, because he could use his memories for it –his opportunities of procrastinating with his guitar were awfully reduced. Still, Jihoon always left a little space of his week to sit on the park and make music, because he was sure he’d go crazy if he didn’t.

And one day, during a short break where Wonwoo was giving him song suggestions –which Jihoon rejected, because the musical taste of his friend were _peculiar_ , to say the least –they finally decided on one song; although the oldest was still not very satisfied. But Jihoon didn’t paid much attention to the pout of the black-haired, because he was tired of explaining to Wonwoo that he didn’t had any idea of how “Ring Ding Dong” could be in an acoustic version. He gave his potato chips for the older to hold and, taking his guitar, he started to play softly some chords to start the song.

Without much more thinking, Jihoon let himself to be immersed in his music and his voice easily floated over the guitar, singing the lyrics of “Perfect Strangers”. It took him a while to notice the people getting closer, surrounding him and Wonwoo, who was sitting next to him and humming quietly pieces of the song.

When the song was about to end and the people began clapping for his show; Jihoon looked up from his guitar to face the audience.

_And it happened._

Despite the countless times he had met his soulmate, Jihoon was still unable to explain that first moment. Mostly because they were always different, and there hadn’t been a time when they looked remotely similar or even had the same name. So, considering all of that and following logic and common sense, there wasn’t a reasonable explanation as to how Jihoon _knew_ he found them. Nonetheless, it only took one look to feel how his body – _his soul_ –completely relaxed as if saying _finally, there you are._ He recognized his soulmate, he could see the forgotten memories in their eyes, recognize that unique glow that always brought him to his other half.

However, the owner of those eyes remained ignorant of all of that. This time it was a man, tall and of a broad complexion, making him seem even more stunning. His ash brown hair fell over his forehead –noting his brushy eyebrows and eyes slightly tilted down, similar to a puppy. His lips were curved upwards, displaying one of the most beautiful smiles Jihoon had seen in his life –in this one, at least. The uniform the man was wearing helped Jihoon assume he was a police officer and when the small crowd started to fade away, the man stayed.

─Do you take any suggestion? –Were his first words and Jihoon lost his breath for a few seconds. The voice of the stranger, of _his soulmate,_ was deep, sweet and soft, all at the same time, showing some kind of happiness in his tone. Jihoon could easily, and _wanted to_ , spend the rest of his life listening to him.

It wasn’t until Wonwoo elbowed him on the ribs that Jihoon realized he had stayed in silent for a considerate amount of time, and the cop was still in front of him with a wide smile and raised eyebrows. But the shorter couldn’t talk, couldn’t find the words, so it was his friend who answered for him, assuring the stranger that as long as Jihoon knew the song he would play it.

─So, is there any chance of you singing “Faded”? –The man talked again, looking straight at him and Jihoon could hear the soft snort of Wonwoo. He would have laughed, because his black haired friend was like a child when he was ignored, but Jihoon was too absorbed in the man in front of him. And, when the words of his soulmate finally clicked in his mind, Jihoon laughed softly for the ironic choice.

─It’ll be my pleasure. –He said, smiling to the man and feeling ecstatic because _I’ve finally found you, my love_. But he didn’t said anything more; knowing that the words flooding in his mind were too personal, too nostalgic and filled of loved to be said to a “stranger”. To that cop, that’s what they were.

So Jihoon settled his guitar and sang. Closing his eyes, he delivered every word and chord sincerely, kind of wishing that a small part of his soulmate could recognize him too. It wouldn’t happen, because the other man had the luck of not remembering, of not missing him, but Jihoon didn’t had anything to lose with trying.

When he finished the song, he opened his eyes to once again find a small crowd surrounding him and clapping. But he couldn’t care less, only wanting to see his soulmate, who was clapping with a proud smile in his face.

─That was… Wow. –Wonwoo spoke close to his ear, because it was a little hard to make themselves to be heard over the noise of the people and city. –Jihoon, I had never heard anything like that. It was wonderful.

─Thank you. –Jihoon whispered after the people left, focusing completely on his guitar while he put it away in the case that was on the floor. He couldn’t look in front of him, still not confident enough to see if his soulmate had already left. –I guess I really like that song.

─That makes both of us. –Again, the deep and sweet voice made Jihoon feel as if he could melt with the ground. The cop was closer to them now, and the two friends looked at him. –Do you major in music?

Wonwoo laughed softly, because it was normal for people to take away years from his friend, and Jihoon still got mad everytime it happened. But Jihoon, for once ignoring him, kept looking at the other man. –Nah. I majored in history.

─Oh. –The cop exclaimed, understanding the unspoken words and blushing from the embarrassment. –I thought you were younger. I’m sorry.

─It’s okay. –Jihoon tilted his head, smirking, and kind of pushed Wonwoo away from them when he saw his friend trying to say something. The police seemed to notice, but didn’t said anything and just mimicked his smile. –How old people tend to think you are?

Still with the pretty pink tone in his cheeks the cop looked away, stroking his own neck. –I’ve been told I look older, but I’m twenty eight

─Just one year older than us, then. –Jihoon couldn’t stop smiling, happy enough to ignore the confused look on Wonwoo, because he _knew_ he wasn’t a social butterfly. To be honest, he would love to ignore everyone who tried to bother him and not have to deal with a lot of people, but it wasn’t that easy either. Jihoon admitted it, because he wasn’t one to be the first to begin a conversation, but he had missed his soulmate _so much_ that he wanted to extend their time together as much as he could.

But then, his phone alarm went off with a loud and off-key shriek. The cop jumped, surprised, contrary to Jihoon and Wonwoo who gave the phone a bored looked, because they knew what it meant. Stopping the alarm, the shortest picked his guitar, while Wonwoo got up to stretch his arms over his head.

─In a hurry? –Asked the man, seeming a little confused. After setting the guitar in his back, Jihoon looked at him, wondering what it would be of them in this life.

─Yeah. Work. –Giving more emphasis to his words, Jihoon shook the phone in his hand. –Our break is over.

─Oh, sure.  –The man took a step back, as if he was giving them space to leave, and smiled to both friends. –Have a nice day.

Walking a little before turning over to see him, Jihoon smiled. –You too, Mr. Cop.

─Choi Seungcheol. –His soulmate spoke, introducing himself, and Jihoon couldn’t help but to look at him with tenderness. The name suited him, and he could finally know who he was in this life.

─Lee Jihoon. –The younger said, before continuing walking and hitting his taller friend on the arm. –And Jeon Wonwoo. See you, Choi Seungcheol!

They walked away, towards the museum where both of them worked, and no matter how much Wonwoo teased him for that new attitude – _you were hitting on him, right?_ –Jihoon didn’t lose his good mood for the rest of the day.

♦

They met again after that first time. Seungcheol kept appearing in the park where he spent time with his guitar, and kept him company while Jihoon decided on which song to sing. Sometimes Wonwoo was there too, although the new change of schedules in the museum didn’t let him to be in the park as often. Still, were there the three of them or just Jihoon and Seungcheol, the older stayed close to him and gave him suggestions, always too enthusiastic and clapping hard and loud when the blonde finished each song.

And, as the cop told him later, his monitoring schedules in that area matched with the moments Jihoon took to go to the park, so the older was genuinely surprised to not have seen him earlier. Jihoon only laughed at that, too familiarized with the universe and its ways of working, unfazed by that new information.

It was nice, the friendship they formed with the weeks, and the small things Jihoon got to learn from his soulmate. Seungcheol had a dog, a big cute husky with heterochromatic eyes that he named Jolly. He also was the oldest of his really close family, always talking with a tenderness and protectiveness of his younger sister and brother; and even if Seungcheol himself didn’t had any tattoos, he loved to see them in other people, which made him earn a beautiful and excited smile from the older when Jihoon told him he had seven.

Seungcheol had already noticed the small red line in his left little finger, but was eager to see the others. Jihoon, laughing embarrassed under the strong sun of the afternoon, promised him to one day show him the ones he could, because not all of them were in areas of his body where it wasn’t necessary to strip. Then, it was the turn of the older to blush, stuttering and looking really cute for the hot day that it was.

Seungcheol never asked for the meanings of the tattoos, although Jihoon did told him about the designs. There was the red string of fate on his left hand, the number _86_ on his left ribs, the phrase _“I plead guilty”_ on the right side of his hips, _“again and again”_ over the backside of his right knee, a bonfire in the center of his chest, a clock without numbers on his nape and the biggest of all, surrounding his left thigh, it began as a rope, transformed to chains midway and ended as a whip.

And Jihoon was surprised because the older respected his space, and didn’t said anything else besides compliments to his tattoos. Seungcheol didn’t tried to know more, and Jihoon was thankful for a lot of reasons, mostly because all of his tattoos were really personal, and all of them talked about Seungcheol. One way or another, all his tattoos were about their other lives, the ones he meet the older and the ones where he couldn’t. They spoke about his endless journey to find his soulmate.

So Jihoon was happy. He was satisfied with the result of this life, so happy and complete to find himself laughing with Seungcheol while they ate some ice cream or walked Jolly over the weekends. This life was one of the easiest to live until now, and having found Seungcheol on time seemed to be the best of blessings.

That’s why he never expected what was to come.

It had been one of the rare afternoons when he was alone at the park with his guitar, since Wonwoo had to work and Jihoon wasn’t keen on staying in his apartment. He knew Seungcheol wouldn’t be there because he had a week off, so he allowed himself to be distracted by his music and play the songs of the curious teenage girls that dared to ask him.

After finishing playing “ _A thousand years_ ”, Jihoon looked up when he heard a familiar voice compliment him –although the words didn’t seem to be directed towards him. There was Seungcheol, talking excitedly to a brunette man as tall as the older and with delicate features along with a soft smile towards Jihoon’s direction.

─Seungcheol? –The blonde asked, trying not to interrupt but curious to see his friend on his day off.

─Oh, Jihoon! –The cop smiled at him and got closer, not without making sure that the other man was following him. –I knew you’d be here.

─You know my schedule, of course I’d be here. –Rolling his eyes, Jihoon tried not to focus on the stranger.

─Yeah, but I wanted Jeonghan to see you play, and there was the slight chance that you didn’t came. –As if finally remembering something important, Seungcheol smiled. –Hannie, this is Jihoon. Jihoon, meet Jeonghan. I’ve wanted you guys to meet sooner but never had the chance.

The older laughed softly, stroking his neck in a way that Jihoon already recognized as nervousness, and the other man smiled at Seungcheol with a suave look before turning to Jihoon. –Nice to meet you, Cheol has talked a lot about you. I’m this dork’s boyfriend.

Jihoon tried to not let it show on his face, but he felt as his world fell to crumbles. With a frozen smile in his face, the blonde kept talking to the couple and even laughed when Seungcheol almost yelled _can you imagine my luck? This man accepted to be my boyfriend two weeks ago!_ But he could barely listen to them. He left shortly after, with the poor excuse of having to study for a conference about the Goryeo Era, and both men let him go. They had no idea, that Jihoon didn’t needed to study about all of that, because even when the conference was actually just in two days, he could talk about that era for hours, _because he lived then too._

On the way home, with his guitar safely tucked in his back, Jihoon laughed loudly, a sound that easily transformed into muffled sobs. It was stupid, really, because there had been worse lives. Seungcheol wasn’t dying, nor hated him, and they weren’t enemies at war. This could have been worse.

But Jihoon had had _so much_ hope. This life seemed to begin really well. He really thought this time they could be together.

Jeonghan’s presence didn’t fade away, it actually became more constant than ever. Seungcheol introduced him to Wonwoo, and they found themselves going out quite often –Jihoon and Wonwoo always being forgotten by the couple making out. They even met some friends of Jeonghan, and Seungcheol finally introduced them to his other friends. And then, their social circle grew and Jihoon found himself being part of a group of thirteen friends that –despite being at the end of their twenties –seemed to enjoy of long afternoons playing at the park and accompanying him with his music.

It was something new, and Jihoon couldn’t deny he liked it. He had friends, more than he ever thought, and it didn’t matter how different they were because they got along just fine. Even Jeonghan earned a place in his heart with his sweetness and humour, although it hurt to see him sometimes.

So the years went by and when Jihoon turned thirty, he accepted his defeat in silence and with dignity. Seungcheol and Jeonghan had over three years together and with every day looked even more in love, more immerse and in their own world. Still, Seungcheol never left him aside, and always went for him when he wanted to talk or just to be pampered by the younger. The thirteen of them were close, a lot, but Seungcheol had some kind of weakness for Jihoon, jealous of his attention and care.

He was kind of old for that, and Jihoon said it to him every time, but he always ended giving up. Joshua laughed at how cute both of them were, while Mingyu and Seokmin mocked the oldest of them. But Jihoon was okay with that, because it was the only way he could have Seungcheol close; _because that was how the universe for both soulmates to meet in this lifetime._

However, it was difficult sometimes. Some days, Jihoon had the weight of too many lives over him, memories he neither could nor should forget, memories he carried for Seungcheol as well.

Those days, he disappeared of the world. Jihoon locked himself in his apartment, hidden under the covers of his bed and turned off his phone. Wonwoo was the only one who received a message, because he was the only one who was there before the rest, and the one who took care of the younger on those days. Wonwoo didn’t knew everything, but Jihoon had seen psychologists before and they had given it a name. Cyclothymia, it was, and it was easier to explain it to Wonwoo, rather than confessing that _he remembered his past lives and his soulmate_. It’s not like his friend would have believed it either.

Wonwoo made sure that he ate and not only slept during his episodes to avoid the pain. He made him company, calling to work if necessary, excusing both of them to their boss. The director of the museum, luckily, was an old and empathetic man that allowed those unexpected absences for Jihoon’s health. Although his depressive episodes weren’t too recurrent, happening twice or thrice a year, they were heavy and exhausting to the man; even if they only lasted normally a day.

But it had been a week, and after talking to his boss to count it as his days off, Jihoon had to admit that he was losing control. Wonwoo had to go back to work after the second day, because the museum couldn’t handle having two historians less and Jihoon never wanted to be a burden. His black haired friend came by before and after work, always worried and refusing to leave until he saw the younger eat something.

In the afternoons he stayed a little longer, and after talking a lot about it, Wonwoo decided to stay there for the night. It’s not like it bothered him, but Jihoon had little to no strength to pretend he wasn’t going to cry. However, he was immensely grateful for his presence.

Trying to get out of the darkness, Jihoon gathered all his energies and sat on the edge of his bed, finally taking out his beautiful guitar from its case. After some tuning, he let go of himself and played one of his favorites songs. _“Little do you know”_ echoed in his small room, making him ignore Wonwoo at the kitchen and the sound of his apartment door being opened.

Halfway through the song, his room was bathed with light and the silhouette of  Seungcheol at his door made him stop. Wonwoo was behind the older, looking worried, but Jihoon couldn’t care less.

─Jihoon, you’re alive. –Seungcheol breathed out in a trembling whisper. –But, what has happened to you?

Kneeling in front of him, the older placed his hands in the knees of the now black haired man and looked every part of Jihoon carefully, making him hyperconscious of his awful appearance. Even when Wonwoo tried it, he barely ate enough to not pass out and slept a lot or nothing a lot, so he didn’t looked only painfully thin for the mere week that he hadn’t seen the rest of his friends, but he also was pale and had dark circles under his eyes.

And he felt somewhat embarrassed; because it was the first time the older noticed his absence during his episodes, since he usually recovered after a day and a half. So looking at the older in front of him, with blurry and desperate eyes, was enough for Jihoon to lay his head in Seungcheol’s shoulder and burst into tears.

It was overwhelming, missing all those lives and all the personalities and names of his soulmate, and have Seungcheol hugging him while Wonwoo took the guitar away from his lap. It was like he was being crushed, because the older was calming him with sweet words and without asking for explanations, while Jihoon cried for everything than once was and couldn’t be.

He can’t be sure when he fell asleep, but he woke up in his own bed, hugging Seungcheol by the waist while the older had wrapped him in an embrace that didn’t allowed him to break free. Judging by the light coming from the window, it was the early morning, and Jihoon tried to get away from Seungcheol to get some water, but woke him in the process and the older, half asleep and with his eyes still closed, tightened his arms around him.

─Cheol. –Whispering, Jihoon tried to see the brunnette’s eyes to open. Blinking slowly, coming to his senses and finding the younger looking at him, Seungcheol smiled.

─Good morning, Jihoon. –His voice was raspy and almost unintelligible, making Jihoon’s heart to ache with love. –How do you feel?

─Better. But I’m thirsty. –Trying to get up once again, Jihoon moved but was easily thrown down again by the insistent hug from Seungcheol.

─Wonwoo left you a glass of water in the nightstand. And you look really weak, so I’m kind of scared for you to get up. –The older spoke against his hair, causing the sound of his voice  coming out muffled and Jihoon’s body to shiver. Then, Seungcheol released him just enough for the younger to take the water and go back to the bed, being immediately wrapped in his arms again.

─I’m sorry, I… I didn’t know. I would have been here with you way sooner.

─Don‘t be sorry. –Jihoon answered, cuddled in the chest of the older and closing his eyes, because it felt just right to be there. –If you didn’t knew it was because I haven’t told anyone about it. Only Wonwoo has known for a lot of years, and it’s okay.

─But now I know. –Seungcheol was hugging him even tighter, as if he was afraid to lose him. Running his hand over his waist, Jihoon caressed the older’s back in an attempt to comfort him. After some minutes of silence, Seungcheol spoke with a fragile and soft tone. –Let me take care of you, Jihoon. I can’t handle it, knowing you’re suffering and I’m not here for you.

The brunette backed away a little, enough to look him at the eyes, and kissed his forehead before speaking again. –You can’t even imagine how much I love you, Hoon.

His heart raced at the words, but Jihoon didn’t allowed himself to feel hope or illusion. He had given up on Seungcheol, because the older loved Jeonghan and there was no way that his words meant anything else than friendship. Seungcheol was spoiled, childish and even selfish with his attention, but that was just how  he was as a friend. If he loved him, it was platonically.

Jihoon couldn’t let his heartbeat to react to his words, but _it did._

♦

Six months later, Jihoon was at the park, without any of his friends and just the company of his guitar. He wanted it to be like that –actually he chose that day and hour specifically because he knew none of them would be there –because he wrote his first song and needed to sing it. He needed to play his song to let it free and release himself from all of that.

After his last episode, life went back to what it was. He went back to work, to the outings of his friends and he kept singing at the park with the company of twelve voices (some of them, unfortunately, more detuned than others). Seungcheol and Jeonghan were still together, stronger than ever, and Jihoon forced himself to forget the sweet words the older had told him. He had been right that what Seungcheol felt for him was merely platonic, because the brunette was still so deeply in love of Jeonghan. And it was okay, he had come to terms with the result of his life.

He could be next to Seungcheol and that was all he wanted.

With that idea in mind, he started playing the song he called _“What kind of future”_ , and allowed himself to dive into the music. He hoped to be able to capture all the feelings he felt in the song, the longing of so many lives and the pain of so many losses.

_“In the end, what kind of future will come to us?_

_Even if heaven don’t give us an answer,_

_I am quite foolish, I realized I can’t ever know”._

He focused on the last chords, breathing hard to avoid the tears from coming out. There were people around him that clapped as soon as the music faded away, and Jihoon was barely able to thank them without breaking down in front of them.

It felt as if he was letting Seungcheol go, and even if he had already accepted it, it turned out to be harder than what he thought. The pain was unbearable, because his soulmate slipped between his fingers and Jihoon couldn’t blame anyone. Life was like that.

Finally looking up, he gasped at the sight of Seungcheol there, in front of him and holding tight onto Jolly’s leash that wanted to go to Jihoon, and looking at him as if he had realized something important.

─What are you doing here? –Asked the black haired one, surprised to have been caught in such an unusual day. However, Seugncheol didn’t answer. Instead, he walked and sat next to him, still looking at Jihoon.

─I’ve never heard that song. –Whispered the older, like in a trance. And Jihoon wanted to understand what was going on in his mind, because Seungcheol was looking at him with something new, different in his eyes. There were new feelings at the bottom of his look that Jihoon didn’t understood and hadn’t seen before in the brunette. At least not towards him.

─It’s mine. I, uh... –Avoiding that new Seungcheol, Jihoon focused on the pretty dog that tried to lick his fingers to gain his attention. –I wrote it a few days ago.

─I love it. –Seungcheol’s voice was so soft that Jihoon could barely hear his words, and the compliment made his cheeks blush. He opened his mouth to thank him, because it really meant a lot to him, but the older spoke first. –Jeonghan and I, we broke up.

Turning his head so fast that his neck hurt, Jihoon complained while stroking it and looked at Seungcheol. –What?! But you… You are… And it’s been… What?

Seungcheol laughed, amused by Jihoon’s reaction and the younger started to think that maybe his friend had lost his mind. –It’s funny actually. Jeonghan told me that I love you.

─What? –His brain had become in some sort of useless goo, because Jihoon could barely even form a few words in his mind. He inhaled, trying to come back to his senses, and spoke. –Well, of course you love me, we’re friends. I would feel really upset to find out you didn’t. But what has that anything to do?

─Well, that’s what I said. –Seungcheol looked at him and smiled, scaring the crap out of Jihoon. –But it seems he wasn’t referring to that kind of love. Jeonghan told me that I love you, that I’ve always had and that what we had wasn’t worth it for me to let you go.

Jihoon opened his mouth again, but the older ignored him and kept talking, which made him feel grateful. He honestly didn’t even know what to say. –Then it kind of got to me, because Jeonghan was breaking up with me and… And I was okay with that. I mean, it’s sad to think of all what we’ve been through, but we talked and understood that this isn’t enough for us to end our friendship. And when he left I started thinking of you and… Jeonghan’s right.

Jolly barked once, as if she was agreeing with her owner’s words, and Jihoon focused on her. The husky got closer to his hands, unwilling to let him stop pampering her, and laid her snout in Jihoon’s lap, where the guitar allowed her. His hands were shaking, and Jihoon doubted he had enough strength to look at Seungcheol.

─And you can reject me, is fine. I just wanted to get it out of my chest because I don’t think I could have been able to hold it anymore and you are… God, you’re wonderful, Jihoon, and I needed you to know th–

But he was interrumpted, because Jihoon was laughing –a sound filled of relief and sheer happiness that flooded through all his body. Jolly and Seungcheol were looking at him, confused and scared, but Jihoon couldn’t stop. Soon after, it transformed into a soft cry that he tried to hide behind his hands, but Seungcheol didn’t let him.

He broke, safe and sound in the chest of the older, because it was so surreal to be loved by Seungcheol, not having to let him go and pretend he didn’t loved him and to have another opportunity from the universe.

From all the theories about soulmates, and all that he liked, Jihoon had a favorite. Because, according to some people, soulmates were nothing more that atoms that once were together, before the Big Bang, and that after being expulsed to the universe because of the explosion became in beings(in souls) that always tried to find each other; because they were together at the beginning. So, it’s something about the universe, trying to fit its looses pieces once again, always failing when people die.

─I thought I wouldn’t be able to love you. –Whispered Jihoon, his face hidden in the neck of the older, and he inhaled deeply, finally stopping the tears. He could feel the strong arms of Seungcheol wrapping him in a loving and safe space just for him. Jolly, on the other hand, was licking Jihoon’s fingers, trying in her own way to make him feel better. –I thought I would have to stay silent and let you be happy with someone else.

─Without knowing, I was afraid of the moment you’d find someone to love. –Seungcheol was stroking his back, and the words were bathed with a tint of sweetness and comfort. –So, how about you love me instead?

Jihoon perked his head up from his nest, finding those new feelings in Seungcheol’s eyes that he could understand now, because the older was looking at him with so much love that it made him wonder if a small part of him could remember. Deciding not to focus in that, he placed a chaste kiss in the mouth of the brunette before talking, so close that their lips brushed. –I’ve never stopped doing it.

♦

─Do you believe in soulmates?

─If I say yes, could I meet you in my next life?

─In the next and all of others to come.

♦


End file.
